Groundhog Day, Part III: In Which Jonas Succumbs to the Succulence of Honeydew Melon
Yesterday we were met with an unpleasant surprise: The Hole had reappeared. Jonas had not, as previously hoped, taken the hint and left. No, instead, there he was, scuttling beneath the neighbor’s hedge. Aggravated, we tossed a few chunks of honeydew melon into the cage before heading out to see some friends.
When we returned home, our hopes temporarily soared — the trap had been sprung!
But it was not Jonas. It was Boris.
Boris looked a lot like Maud, only bigger, smellier, and possibly meaner. Boris was loathe to leave the trap but, after some firm encouragement, he tumbled out and scuttled down Jonas’ hole. “Are they in cahoots?” I wondered bitterly. We reset the trap with more honeydew and went to bed.
This morning, the trap sat empty as did, unfortunately, my flower pot; Jonas had removed the last leaves from the plant I had struggled to keep alive during his tenure below our porch. Discouraged, I left for my German class, sure that Jonas was destined to live as our perpetual nemesis.
And then:
At 1:41 pm, July 19, 2007, four squirrels and two possums later, Jonas plopped himself down into the trap and…pow. Now we just need to figure out what to do with him. Suggestions?
Yoshi said:
on July 19, 2007 at 2:06 pm
As a resident of Georgia, I feel obliged to suggest the following:
http://www.briansbelly.com/recipes/game/groundhog.shtml
elissa said:
on July 19, 2007 at 2:17 pm
Yosh, I’m cooking for Corinne tonight so watch what you suggest…
ryan said:
on July 19, 2007 at 4:42 pm
I say Jonas either needs to be somewhere in the wild where he will harm no man or he should be dead. If you intend to kill by some secondary causation, don’t dump him anywhere he will cause a traffic accident (drivers attempting to dodge him on the road, and all).
Or maybe the city museum could use a stuffed groundhog somewhere?
Suzanne said:
on July 19, 2007 at 5:00 pm
fry him!
Suzanne said:
on July 19, 2007 at 5:01 pm
or her…
Yoshi said:
on July 19, 2007 at 9:50 pm
That’s what I said!